CHAPTER SIX

 

HEALING AND HEARING

I titled this Healing and Hearing, because I began to heal from the pain of my wasted years and now I was really digging deeper into God's word and learning to hear His voice as He spoke to me.

CHAPTER SIX

Psalm 103:17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children.

Thankful for this Chapter in my life, in this chapter I learned that God has blessed me with the gift of teaching, something I had a great passion for, with the children I was able to use the talent of Creativity that God had put in me. And with the adults just a great love to share the goodness of God. I taught in the church, both the children and senior ladies and would have ladies bible study classes where people brought their friends to. I was just being blessed over and over again.  This was a process of eleven years. So let's back up a bit.

A day came when I needed to sell my home and move, I had a mortgage plan where after three years the monthly payment increased by $200. I sought God as to where to move to. And so clearly He said "No matter where you live, I will not leave you, but I will be there with you." So the plan was made.

Yet, before that day my oldest daughter got a divorce. My brother-in-law met a tragic, unexpected death and my sister was grieving. As I was praying one night, I had a habit of praying and saying "God is there anything I forgot to pray?" I heard that still small voice say "You didn't praise me." So I did all I knew to do, but I truly didn't understand how He wanted me to praise Him, but it never left me and I desired to know how He wanted to be praised. It would be 10 more years before He would sit me down and teach me what He meant.

I sold my home and bought a condo, mom with me all along the way. Shortly after moving the company closed that I worked for, and I had no job and 56 years old. I began to sell cakes, babysit children, when the babysitting ended, I began to clean homes.

During this chapter of my life I also sold the condo and rented an apartment. I had struggled with finances of not having enough since my divorce. I would tithe and then I would have to charge groceries, something was definitely wrong. I prayed and prayed. Then my ex- father-in-law died and my ex- husband allowed me to rent his parents nice home for $500 a month. I loved living there. But I still struggled with tithing. So I would pray "Show me my sin" and at church I would listen very closely to see if God would reveal to me what I was doing wrong. Then they had a few Sunday's where people shared their tithing testimonies, and I would cry because I was only giving an offering.

I prayed and I prayed and then in the wee hours of the morning God spoke, "I am looking for a people who will praise Me in the valley as well as the mountain top, I am looking for a people who will worship Me in the valley as well as the mountain top and I am looking for a people who will give in the valley as well as the mountain top." My reply was "I want to be one of those people". I wanted to share my testimony on a Sunday morning, but my Pastor said all the slots were taken, then in a few hours he called me back and told me someone just cancelled and would not be able to speak, would I?  Did you see what God did ? And yes I shared the whole story I just shared with you. I was 56 years old, and God has been my Provision and my Provider again and again.

At approximately 61 years of age, honestly I can't keep up with my age and years so these numbers are not set in concrete but close, I was still cleaning homes and needed more income. Mother was approximately 93 years old and actually doing well. While I was working my daughter called to say she heard on K Love radio of a church needing to hire someone to clean in the evening, because they had a daycare. I went to my pastor, we prayed for God's favor, I went for the interview and was hired. I loved everything I saw in the church, didn't make much money though. I started in June, and at the same time my mother entered into the process of dying. I want to go all the way back to ten years before when she moved in with me; naturally both of us being independent women who had lived alone for many years, we had a big adjustment to make that at times drove us both crazy. But we always loved one another, she also helped pay toward the housing expenses each month, she adjusted everytime we moved and when I quit running from God and went back to church she went with me. That was a blessing since she had not been in church since she was 38 years old. So now back to my starting to work in the evening. She began to go to bed earlier and earlier and I had to start asking family members to come over a few hours in the evening while I worked. She had to be taken to the ER twice the second time she was admitted for a week for a UTI. When talking to the ER doctor at the first trip, he asked me when this all started. I said it started in June when I began to work in the evening. His reply brought me much anguish he told me that my going to work and leaving her in the evening triggered her beginning to die. But I kept working and family took time staying with her. Then September 4th mom died. I continued to work at the church, but I was struggling with what the ER doctor had said and was tired from working each day cleaning houses and also nights. Besides this I had a Sunday School class and our AWANA program to prepare for. So in January after giving the church a 30 day notice I completed my working there, and I had loved that church and prayed over the worship center everytime I cleaned it. But that chapter of my life was finished.

As time went on I began to no longer want to be over the AWANA program, after all I had done it for approximately eleven years. I decided to resign, I was also growing away from teaching the adult class, even talked to my pastor about it but I kept teaching. This process took a year of me hanging on, but not understanding I needed to go. Until something happened within the church to trigger me to leave NOW! I realized much later that God had during this year begun to shift me and transition me to where He wanted me to be.

I told my friends goodbye, and began to visit other churches. Then I remembered the church I had been cleaning and I decided to go visit. And then the next chapter of my life would begin. I would now experience a move of God in my life greater than anything I had experienced so far. 

Glory to God on the Highest for great is His faithfulness.