JUST KEEP LIVING & TRUSTING
EVERYWHERE THERE IS WHITE IT IS SCARRING, WHERE YOU SEE THAT KOOKS LIKE COBWEBS, THAT IS CALLED HONEYCOMBING. 6/14/23.
TESTIMONY TIME!!!
In 2013 I was diagnosed with IPF, Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. A lung disease that causes scaring and hardening of the lungs. It's called Idiopathic which means, cause unknown. They thought it might me cleaning materials, since I cleaned houses to supplement my social security.
Yet, in 2013 I, my family and church began to pray for my healing. You see this disease has only a 3 to 5 years life span. But, in 2015 I heard the Lord say "You will not have a premature death"! I believed Him. Then 2018 came and the pulmonary doctor was shocked I was still here and appeared stable. But, I did quit working & got rid of dangerous cleaning materials in my home by December 2018.
Yet I felt what is my purpose anymore! Early January 2019 I heard the Lord say "I have cut off the source of your attack"! I didn't understand until I went to the doctor again, and was told they could no longer hear the sound of the fibrosis growing in my lungs. Then each day I would get up and hear the Lord say "Just keep on living"! Until I began to say it everyday. You see Jesus was prophesizing into my life, that I would begin to prophecy over myself. And I was doing great.
Then came October 2022, inwardly I began to cry out to God, "Take me home"! I believe part of that was knowing the anniversary of my daughter's death was coming soon. But I found myself torn wanting to die and wanting to live. In November I heard the Lord say: "You will not leave this earth one moment before I am ready for you to leave. Quit asking"! So I obeyed, my pastors prayed for me. Yet, in December 2022 I noticed my shortness of breath had returned, the coughing had returned. Believing I had given place to the enemy to bring his evil on me; I rebuked him, yet I continued to get worse.
My energy level had dropped, I had no real appetite, but I kept on living. Went to my primary care doctor in May, he was very unhappy and concerned with what he was hearing in my lungs, sent me tests and back to seeing my pulmonary doctor. The CT SCAN was worse that the scan done in 2019, honeycombing was growing (this is end of life happening in the lungs), my breathing test revealed my lungs together were working at only 1/3 capacity.
In October my pulmonary doctor said my lungs were getting worse, and wanted me on oxygen all the time. I being me, asked where was I in this process, though I know my life is totally in God's hands, I was curious to what he would say. He explained he couldn't tell me that, but since oxygen at home only went to 5 liters and I was on 3 liters, it was time for me to get my family together and make final decisions. Would I be willing to go into the hospital and be out on a ventilator? My answer NO!
It is now November, my ability to do household activity is very limited. But I just keep doing what I can do, keeping simple things done. Strength is pretty well at Zero, but Jesus is my strength. I will keep pressing forward. I can no longer walk through grocery stores, my friends take me and I ride a buggy. I am not a great driver 😊.
Even at 3 liters of oxygen when I was up and about, I was extremely short of breath. With lung disease they do not want your oxygen dropping below 90.
Today 11/17/2023, I went to my primary care doctor. He listened to my concerns, and answered my questions. He said my lungs were progressing and getting worse all the time. He wants me to have the best care I can have in my home, so he is putting me on Palliative Care, going to rush the post office to do front porch mail delivery. He had me walk while wearing my oxygen, and very quickly my oxygen dropped to 85, and he said turn it up to 4 liters. I go back to see him in December.
I shared with him what I am about to share with you. First I told him the word God had given me in 2015, and in 2018. Then I said to him and you who read this: "My life and my death are in my God's hands. We all have a way and a time to die (unless our time is cut short). My time and the way I leave this earth is coming and I am okay". You see I have peace, all is well with my soul, and I have no regrets. I will finish my race here one day, but not today. I will continue to do all I am able to do each and everyday. Most likely I will give up driving by the end of December. He said that was probably a wise decision.
The reason this is important is because my oxygen doesn't circulate through my body as it should, that means there are times when my brain will be oxygen deprived and I will loose focus.
So here is my testimony, God kept me, God added years to my life, Jesus is my Healer, my Life Sustainer, He is both my Provider and my Provision, He is my Hope and I long to see Him face to face. Do I pray to die? Absolutely not, I just keep on living and continuing to do the last thing He told me to do.
What does death look like? Well it is a journey from birth to death. And even with a terminal disease you just keep on living and don't give up. It is surrendering your life completely over to Jesus Christ and trusting in Him.
Love you guys ❤️😘🥰
