TESTIMONY
As we examine and reflect on our lives to look a little closer and go a little deeper, God will continue to reveal strongholds that continue to take our thoughts and actions captive.
2 Corinthians 10: 4-6 (you can read it, this is me just putting it in my words) tells us that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal (flesh, of man) but mighty in God. In this we tear down strongholds that taken up resistance in our minds and keep us captive, by wrong thinking. These strongholds have even begun at a young age, could be wrong thinking about ourselves, about others, about God, about church people. In reality even what we thought was right and Godly could only be a religious training or experience. We are told to take all these wrong thoughts captive and bring them into obedience to Christ Jesus. We cannot stop a thought from coming, but we can control whether we catch that thought and accept it as truth. We must capture these rebellious thoughts and put them in their place. How can we possibly do this?
Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
The only way we can identify these thoughts are they of our flesh, of our enemy, or of God, is by putting His word into our hearts, by knowing His truth that we may recognize the error. Now that was just a backdrop for the rest that I am going to say. For me, at this time, it's the lies I had believed about myself from a child up. Won't give a lot of detail, I have done that before, but another revealing of Linda to bring us to what God has shown me just a few weeks ago.
Because of things I experienced in my early childhood, I saw myself as ugly, and I could not love myself, this was by the age of six, and continued over and over again throughout my life. A spirit of rejection had entered into my thinking and controlled my thoughts. Thoughts that said "I had no value, no worth, unlovable to myself or anyone else" and when this demonic spirit begins to feed into our thinking we can even get convinced of how others think about us, when they don't think that way. Saved at 27 years old but it would be in my 60's before I would learn how to tear down this ungodly stronghold.
In Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus tells the scribes the two greatest commandment 1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. 2. To love your neighbor as yourself.
On a Wednesday night as we gathered and were talking about these scriptures, I asked my pastor this question, "How can we love my neighbor when we can't love ourselves"! Now I don't recall what he said all I can say it helped me and changed me, not because he spoke it, but it lined up with scripture and the Holy Spirit worked in me to receive it.
Now let's flash forward to 2020 at my young age of 73. As we sat on a Wednesday night in what we call (well I call lol) our upper room, discussing this once more. I thought I had that covered, yet by Thursday morning the Holy Spirit began to work in me and revealing that in these latter years I had once more devalued who I was in Christ with wrong thinking. What was this wrong thinking?
When we are born we have God given talents when used for ourselves is for ourselves and not God's kingdom; but when we are born again, we receive spiritual gifts that work along side our talent/talents to be used together in God's kingdom. Example: seeing I couldn't sing, etc I for years did not see a talent in me, but then in my late sixties God showed me my talent was "Creativity", shown in my writing, my teaching and in my baking. I know my spiritual gifts, and I know the word says in Hebrews 11:29 that our gifts are irrevocable, these means God doesn't take away from us what He has given. So now we get to my problem and perhaps could even be part of your problem.
I had devalued my gift and my value in God's kingdom, because I no longer saw my God given gifts being used as they once were. Now because I couldn't see beyond how they used in my younger years, they must not be used today (that thinking was a whisper from Satan into my thoughts that I received and accepted. So it set up a stronghold in my mind). As the Holy Spirit revealed this to me, He reminded me of two scriptures:
Psalm 137:1 By the rivers of Babylon, There we sat down, tea, we went when we remembered Zion
Now this new generation was rebuilding the temple (spiritually representing the new thing God would do in Christ) while the young rejoiced the elders wept because it was not as the old)
Ezra 3:12 But many of the priests and Levites and heads of the fathers houses, old men who had seen the first temple, wept with a loud voice when the foundation of this temple was laid before their eyes. Yet many shouted for joy.
As I looked within myself, I saw that in my latter years and seeing I was not as I once was, the reality was I was looking back at how much better my gifts were once used and not used in the same way as today. The reality is that, though I didn't realize it, I was complaining to God that He was not using me as He once did for His kingdom and therefore I must not be of any value.
So once more I had to take captive that lie from the pit of Hell and align my thoughts and my actions in agreement with God's word and in agreement with His goodness and plan for me.
I hope that all who read this and have been born again in Christ, know you are of great value to Jesus Christ and are invited to serve along beside Him in His kingdom. Our gifts may look different as we age but He uses them as He always has. You are loved and God's favor be with each of you. Keep pressing forward, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
