SMELLING SMOKE

July 26, 2017

Where do I begin? I have been praying for sometime "Lord, consume anything in me that is not of You and purify what is of You." It seems that I have seasons of growing, pruning and burning, with each thing God reveals it is to shape me into the vessel for His kingdom purpose.

Though God has not called me into the ministry, He has gifted me to operate in the ministry. The gifts He has given me are to be used at His appointed times to support my pastors and edify the body. Yet there are things buried deep within me, that I don't want to see, don't want to accept, nor have God reveal them to me. It's like standing naked before God and looking into a mirror at the same time. ( all exposed and looking ugly)

As my heart's desire is to be in the will of God, seeking Him praying for revival and saying "Lord let it begin in me". God honors these prayers. And as painful as exposure is, repentance will bring such a healing peace that pushes me forward in victory over my flesh.

God has been talking and burning and pruning a lot these last few days, can you smell the smoke? But what He has said to me today is, when I allow these hidden sins to go on, they will hinder me in His plan for my work in our body. I just remembered my pastor recently had a message on that (more than one) my sin affects the whole body and sin breaks the unity. Wow! The Holy Spirit is so good! God has shown me over and over how much He loves me, then here comes the discipline. Our recent conversation Me: "Lord what is wrong with that person?  I need discernment Lord to see what is happening". God: "No Linda you need to see what is wrong with you." Ouch! Jesus spoke about this as I remembered Him speaking on removing our plank from our eye.

We are told to examine ourselves, the Holy Spirit will reveal and bring to the surface, through conviction, not condemnation, for the purpose of true repentance. Thankful God shows us a little at a time, like peeling away layers.

Without seeing our need to repent, why would we think we needed revival? 

During this process, we will find that the consuming and the pruning are just as painful, yet most necessary for our transformation, our spiritual growth and our moving forward with Jesus.

Hebrews 12:29 For our God is a consuming fire

Psalm 66:10 For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined

God will prepare us for His outpouring, but we have to lay ourselves on the altar and say: " Here am I Lord, cleanse me as one who refines silver, test me and see if there is an unclean thing within me." This also a part of our dying to self, our surrender to His will, His way. Whatever we may think of our maturity level, suddenly in this process we are humbled with the truth.

Some of you may wonder "Why does she write this stuff"? So let me say this, I want to encourage each of you, our journey of growing is on going it did not stop with our salvation. I was 27 years old when I came to know Jesus, I was not always faithful to God. But when I came to my senses I came running back to my Father, and have set my path to never run from Him again. I am now closing in on 70 years of age and God continues to love me, to bless me and to discipline me. He has never let go if me, He desires that I walk in victory so when something  has sat up in my thinking, my actions, my words He quickly reveals to me that this is not His way, this is sin! And I in repentance must acknowledge my sin to Him and ask for forgiveness. Our testimony in Christ continues as long as we are on this earth. The word says we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by our testimony. 

Be encouraged, it is good for God to show us our sins, so we can move as victorious conquerors.

WE ARE ALL THIRSTY

This will not be an easy blog post, but it will be an honest post.

Though our past experiences can contribute to shaping us, we are never defined by them. Through Jesus we have been set free! Then why do we still struggle with things that once held us captive? May I explore with you what I am learning? First off: "Being set free, and living in freedom." are not the same thing. Jesus has set us free but it is our choice to live in that freedom, or remain chained to the pain of our past.

May I be perfectly frank? I have, since very early in life, struggled with low self-esteem, feeling of unworthiness, and needing assurance from others that I did it right, said it right, etc. I have confessed and asked for forgiveness for having these thoughts, I have cried out to be set free. But honestly I don't know how to live without these thoughts. I know we are to cast down strongholds, I have done all of that, then I ask "Lord why am I not set free?" "Why do I still have thoughts that no one cares"?

I have already forgiven the ones who hurt me in my past, why do I still carry around the baggage that came with it? How many times do I have to lay it on the altar, pray burn it up God with Your consuming fire? Some of you, who are more spiritual, may not understand what I am talking about; yet others, though you may be experiencing something different than me have said and done the same thing. LET IT GO! I have said both to others and to myself. And just when you think you have let it go, there it is back to frustrate and torment you.

At times I would say "I need encouragement " then I would pray "Lord I don't need others encouragement,  I just need Your encouragement. "  Now I want to say it is good to encourage others in their walk with Jesus. But God was fixing to show me ENCOURAGEMENT was not what I was wanting, it was only what I thought I needed.

I watched a 55 second clip of a preacher, I do not know, he said one word and that word shouted into my soul. VALIDATION! !! I knew immediately God was speaking to me! God was saying "Validation of who you are in Me, you may know who you are in me, but you are looking for others to validate it." I have been praying, Lord reveal in me anything that breaks Your heart. Consume everything that is not of You and purify all that is. Hmmm is that smoke I smell?

We are all thirsty for something: Love, acceptance, forgiveness, prosperity, etc. What are you thirsty for?

The Samaritan woman at the well was thirsty, Jesus told her that water from that well would not satisfy her, only He could satisfy her thirst. So what well are you drinking from? Me, the well of "Validation" . 

So how do I walk in freedom? Recognizing the truth about myself is the first step, the woman at the well had to recognize the truth about herself. Secondly confess my sin of looking to others to validate me when He alone has done that. Thirdly do not allow the enemy a foothold in my thinking by for one moment of entertaining his whisper in my thoughts. Instead the word says "Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you." "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you".

"Take every thought captive unto the obedience of Christ".

Everytime the wrong thought enters my mind I must immediately cast that thought out, don't wait for it to take up residence in my mind, not even only for a day. Surrender my thought life unto God, the blood of Jesus covers and cleanses my thoughts and I must keep my thoughts renewed daily, seek to be closer to God, and watch the enemy flee. Each day that each of us do this; we will find ourselves walking in victory and living in freedom.

Oh and the reason validation from others only lasted (satisfied my thirst) until the next time I needed it, I was drinking from the wrong well!

Just another day growing in Christ.

Scriptures I used: John 8:31-36

John 4:1-19, James 4:7-8, 

2 Corinthians 10:4-6

BLOOM WHERE GOD PLANTS YOU

Have you ever asked God "why am I at this church?" I did, so here is my story that lead me to this very question.

My story begins approximately 19 years ago, I was actively serving in my church, loving the people, but I had not asked that question, "God why am I here?". I came there because, I had been running from God for 12 years, and I had stopped running from and began running to. My children went there and I began and soon it became my home and family. I found rest, love and a sense of belonging. I grew and God used me where I was.

Then about 18 years ago, while praying one night, I said "Lord have I forgotten to pray about anything?" In my spirit I heard very clearly "You did not praise Me". Now I understood He deserves all our praise and we are to always be thankful. So I thanked Him, as I knew to do. But His words never left me, so I set out to understand what did my Lord want me to do and how do I praise Him.

 Years would pass, the company I worked for, closed, now I was without a job, so I began cleaning houses. Along the way I answered an ad to clean a church and daycare area in the evening. During this time, I enjoyed my work, loved cleaning the worship center and praying over everything in the room, listening to the praise team as they practiced. But working day and night, plus taking care of my mother who was dying, took it's toil and a few months after her death, I quit.

Another year would pass and then God moved, He began to shift me from where I had been worshiping and serving and leading me in a new direction. I found myself without a church home and I began my search. Believing it was me who decided where I would go to church! God reminded me of the church I had once cleaned and enjoyed, but since it was Easter I did not go, because I did not want to be labeled just an Easter Service attendance, can we hear the word PRIDE! (smiling) but the very next Sunday I went, I heard my pastor say these words during worship "Can we just love on Jesus a minute church?" and I heard praise for who He is coming from the lips of people I did not know, it was not chaos, it was beautiful ! And yes it did take me out of my comfort zone, but I knew I loved every minute of it. So I stayed, I came and I began to learn how to praise my Lord, not just in my heart but from my lips. I heard truth taught, I saw a people who loved and who desired God. I became involved which was one of my fears: (that I would not be used by God in another church.) See how the enemy operates? A whisper can be as effective as a roar when it touches on that little place of anxiety.


Time passed and during prayer I asked THE QUESTION: " Lord why did You bring me here?" He responded and with a word that captured my heart "You came to make an income, I brought you here to learn how to PRAISE ME, how to WORSHIP ME!" Approximately eleven years after God said "You did not praise Me". He placed me in the body of believers I now am at, and along the way of learning how to praise Him and how to worship Him, I began to walk closer with Jesus, to dig deeper in His word, to grow in my gifts and calling that God has placed in my life. In other words not only did I bloom where God planted me but I flourished. I would never have known about this church if I had not gone there to work. WOW! God is so good, for us it seems like a long time yet when eternity is His timetable it happened in just a moment. Another Kairos moment where God spoke, moved and planted. Let that sink in a minute in God's plan me going to work their was to bring me where I am now a part of this church family, and enjoying every minute of it. Thank You Jesus.

Many people are searching for THE church to fulfill all their needs; the music, the nursery, the leadership, the teachers, the Pastors. I will be the first to say, I like a particular style of preaching, I enjoy hearing a passion for God in their voice, a little humor and truth founded on God's word.

1 Corinthians 12:18 But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased.

1 Corinthians 12:14 For in fact the body is not one member but many

1 Corinthians 12:25-27 that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.

As God has placed each one of us in the local body of believers, we have a contribution to make to that body of believers, to use our gifts and talents to further the kingdom of God, to grow in knowledge, to encourage and minister for kingdom purpose and not for our own glory.  So the next time you visit a church ask God; "Why I am here and is this where You want me?" and if you decide to leave a church, make sure you are following God's leading in it completely, and not allowing emotions to dictate where you will serve God. The word tells us to examine our hearts, and that we need to do regularly. There are seasons in our lives, seasons in a church and seasons in another church. Where do you find yourself in this season? But first and foremost remain faithful to God and serve Him with delight where He has planted you, without crumbling or complaining, we will never be satisfied apart from Him and His will.

1 Corinthians 12:4-6 There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God, who works all in all.

PART TWO OF MY KAIROS MOMENT

As I continue to write, of how God showed up, stepped in and showed off, when all I was doing was walking with Jesus day by day. I will continue where I left off, when Satan tried to tempt me to take control.

On that Sunday, July 2, 2017, I called Patty and said: I do want your car and I am selling mine. So we made plans to go get it. I checked with what I thought was a reliable source to see what % they used to figure the taxes, knowing what the tags would cost, I said God I don't have the money.  Did not know what I was going to do, but went to get my car. Patty said that she and her husband wanted to let me have the money for the taxes. Well Praise God! Thank you Jesus! Now this was not a gift because it was added onto the debt I owed, nevertheless I was more than happy. Only one problem, we had the wrong % and when I called Friday morning I found that even by adding the money I had I was still $25.00 short. I did the math over and over again and didn't' know what I would do, by now I am driving to the courthouse and telling God I have no choice Lord I must lie to Caesar about the cost of the car,  then I would say: God I can't lie when You are truth. Then  in my mind the scripture where Jesus told the disciples to reach into the fish's mouth and they pulled out a coin, and He said: give unto Caesar what is Caesar's. (Now I know that wasn't an exact quote because I still haven't looked it up) as soon as I remembered that I heard "Do you trust Me?" By now I am almost at the courthouse, and I say: God You are in this, I will not lie, because I knew if I lied, that was me taking control and would totally mess up what God was doing. So here I go thinking well I will have write a bad check. I get there and could do nothing because her husband had not signed the title. I go to clean my Friday  house, and found they had written my check for $25.00 extra. So they just became the fish I pulled the coin out of.

So here is what I have learned in my Kairos encounter:

1. It will come suddenly and unexpected

2. It will come with undeniable confirmation

3. Others will think REALLY! Are you SURE? Because it will not look like a God thing to them

4. Your own doubts and fears will arise. (What if I am wrong)

5. I must make a decision; do I walk by faith or by sight, do I listen to others opinions, do I recognize my own fears are not based on God's word but my own reasoning. (My decision will determine what happens)

6. Satan now stepped in and attempted to shift the direction God was taking me by offering a counterfeit way that would cause me to take control of what God is doing.

I experienced each one of these in the past couple of weeks. Being able to see and recognize this is my moment when God said "Look what I am doing, and trust no one but Me!" Came from growing where God planted me, seeking God daily, sitting under sound teaching, staying in the word and in prayer. This has taken years not days or weeks. It is persevering in the good times and the bad times. It is allowing the Holy Spirit to impart into my inner man the truth of God's word. Do I still mess up, you bet I do, yet each day I decide do I walk in victory and stay in Jesus?

We have heard the term "impartation of God's word" some may call it an epiphany or a light bulb moment; this is when we read or hear the spoken word and suddenly shout "I GET IT"! What I have experienced with an impartation is when the word that was heard or read is placed so deep in my inner man that when I need it, the moment I need it, the Holy Spirit will bring it back to my memory, example: recently I heard someone say "conceived in the spirit" and immediately it took me back to a message my pastor gave 3 years ago, the whole message, NO, just the part that I needed to remember. It is the impartation that will bring about transformation. 

2 Corinthians 4:7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

John 14:26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

Oh and my car, my daughter is buying it for her daughter, my sweet granddaughter. Now whether God was doing this strictly for my blessing and using this to bless them I don't know. An truthfully it is unimportant because God will never harm me to bless someone else, so I see this as simple as God has blessed both me and my family, they had a need and He met their need. I hope my story has been an encouragement for you, and has helped you on your personal journey with Jesus.

SEEING GOD IN MY KAIROS MOMENT

 

Have you experienced a Kairos Moment? Many times we have, and might not even recognize it, in fact the moment of our salvation was a Kairos Moment. Some of you may ask what exactly does this mean? 

Kairos is that moment when God reaches down and intercepts our day, when He intervenes with His plan for us. Here we are chronologically walking through life and there He is dropping right into our day. So let me tell you of my recent Kairos Moment. I am changing the names of those involved, because I have not asked their permission to use their actual names.

I must begin a few months ago, I had been having to invest money into my car and it was a constant struggle. My friend Lucy said "you need another car" my response was "God would have to drop a car in my driveway, for me to get another car". Now that is only the beginning!!

As most of you know I clean houses to supplement my income, I keep a schedule of everyone I clean for, and in the summer some get off of their normal schedule and I have to wait to see what day they want me to clean. On Thursday morning June 29th I looked at my calendar and all my people were booked except one. I prayed Lord I need to work Wednesday July 5th and the only one not scheduled is Sarah, Lord I need to clean Sarah's house July 5th. Then I headed to work.

Arriving at my job, I noticed they had purchased a new car. Immediately Patty began to show me her old car she was selling. She went into great detail and I was thinking WHY! I couldn't buy a car and was not looking for a car. But jokingly as we started in I said: "Patty, how long will I have to work for you for free to pay for this car"? Her reply was " I Don't Know Let's see." can you imagine my shock look? But it still wasn't registering what was happening. Then as I was leaving she said two things that caught my attention; Linda can you afford to lose the cash I pay you each month? I replied: Patty, I do not know but my God always supplies my needs. She replied: let's see what God is going to do. 

When I got in my car a text message came through, the name said Sarah. The text said: Linda can you work me in and clean my house one day next week? My response: yes, I can come Wednesday July 5th. Did you see what God just did? He was saying I heard your prayer, I heard what you just said to Patty and I am showing you I am in this. But in this moment I found myself terrified because I saw God in this and could not understand, its like saying:" God!! What are You doing?  And where are You taking me?"

But then came the doubts; coming from opinions and my own fears, you see Satan is quiet aware of our weaknesses, he has observed our lives,  and knows just the right whisper that will generate doubt and fear.  With me it is low self-esteem and the fear of hearing God wrong. Just a side note: I know who I am in Christ today, and when these moments of self doubt and fear of hearing wrong come up it is based on my past, years of running from God. I have been set free from that person, but Satan will attempt to bring our past up as if it is still the present. Victory comes each time we don't linger in his lies but tell him "I am a child of God and I was worth His dying for, get behind me Satan in the name of Jesus."I lingered longer than I should have in this, but by Sunday I was willing to take a leap of faith and commit to the car. The plan was and is to sell my car apply that cash to my new car and work off the remainder if any.

Anytime we make a decision to walk by faith, the temptation will also come to attempt to take control, and the enemy will step in and try to shift us from the direction God is taking us. This happened on Friday July 7. This is only part of this marvelous adventure. In the next part I tell how the enemy, Satan, almost convinced me to take control. God is still at work in this whole situation and I stand in amazement. 

One thing more, in the beginning I said "God would have to drop a car in my driveway " and there it sits.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope

John 8:32 you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

The truth about what? Not just the truth about who Jesus is, but also the truth about who we are. Seeing ourselves correctly, recognizing not just our sinfulness but know our weaknesses, the areas of our lives that are vulnerable to temptation. So when the enemy throws out his lure, we see it and are not caught in his snare. We have been set free from the power sin has over us but not from the temptations that come our way